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| WYCOMBE'S NUMBER ONE FANZINE RETURNS ON THE NET... | |
Former manager Tommy Burns started the problem when he believed false reports that Nationwide division two could only be won by teams of a predominately Scottish origin. Despite assurances that decently priced players were in the marketplace, and that there was no blockade on the Scottish borders, Burns capitulated to the sellers demands forking out sky-high fees for mundane talents. Analysts pointed out that the panic appeared to have reached it's zenith when Burns signed English shire-horse tribute player Keith Scott on the basis of his surname alone. Such was Burns' desperation that he paid approximately 15 times over the odds to secure his signature. As Burns was eventually relieved of his job, many reckoned that the panic would subside. However, new boss Alan Pardew was soon gripped by the fever inexplicably paying thousands for players that were about as fit as Anne Widdicombe. Close to one transfer deadline day it was reported that Pardew had paid £750,000 for a west country striker by the name of Gummidge, but pulled out of the deal at the last moment when the player informed the club that he'd lost his "football 'ed". However, results have improved at the Berkshire club and they toughed outthe recent fuel crisis by using Scott and fellow striker Jim Macintyre to pull the team coach. Said Scott, "I've never been so proud, they did me up in beautiful ribbons and silver buckles - it's a fitting end to my career". A source close to Pardew confirmed the panic was currently subsiding, but staff at the Berkshire Shire Horse Centre reported that Pardew was seen waving his chequebook at a retired mare after defeat at Peterborough. Andy Dickinson Back to TAF Index >>> |
 The Adams Family 1992-1998
these boys can play too
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